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The good, the bad and the ugly
Sure, they’re nice to look at. But do good-looking people necessarily make good partners?
By Teo Pau Lin
THERE are two things that average-looking people like to say about good-looking people.
First, they’re probably dumb.
It’s pure injustice that they got more attention from parents and teachers when they were kids, and grew up to have more friends, landed better jobs, got promoted faster and married other good-looking people.
So we average-lookers like to spite them by hitting where it hurts. We say they’re stupid. We give them names like bimbo, air-head or muscle-brain.
After all, anyone so well-endowed in one department must be deficient in another. It’s Nature’s way of balancing things out.
Deep inside though, we know not all beautiful people are dumb. As hard as it is to stomach, some people do sickeningly possess both brawn and brain.
But it’s okay.
We average-lookers have one other grenade to lob against good-lookers, which brings me to point No. 2.
They make lousy partners.
I first heard it when my Mum warned me many years ago to stay away from good-looking boys. They’re trouble.
Last week, her sentiment was echoed in a friend’s mother, who also cautioned him against dating pretty girls. They’re trouble.
Mothers know things. They’ve been around longer than we have, so there must be some hard-earned truths behind their caution.
It makes sense too. Good-looking people will always attract attention from the opposite sex, even right up to a ripe old age.
When relationships grow stale or hit a bump, as they always do, they are likely to bail, given the tempting spread of hassle-free options outside.
Good-looking people are also likely to have had many prior relationships than average lookers.
Chances are, you’d have to grapple with the ghosts of their many ex’s past, possible entanglements with unresolved break-ups, even blows to your self-esteem when comparisons are made.
Used to being lavished with attention from previous partners, they could also be egotistical, high-maintenance and difficult to please. In other words, you’re the slave to their king or queen.
Of course, such behaviour is not the sole domain of good-looking people. Plain-lookers can also be masters of cheating, lying and all manner of despicable behaviour.
But the thing is, good-lookers are more likely to be lousy partners because they have more of what it takes to become one.
Sure, they’re great to look at and could make you the envy of your friends. But they’re probably not long-term material.
Guys seem to find it harder to resist good looks than girls.
My friend with the anti-pretty-girl mother tells me that all guys, without exception, go for looks.He says: ‘We’re made that way. A girl may have a good heart, but if she looks like a sack of potatoes, forget it.‘
But we girls are different. Call it innate wisdom or just the biological need to propagate the species, we go for guys who can provide and will stick around. Looks aren’t that big a deal.
I consoled him that, in Singapore at least, good-looking women far outnumber good-looking men. So there are many well-adjusted, level-headed women out there who offer both looks and quality.
Good-looking Singapore men? They’re hard to come by. So by sheer rarity in species, they are most likely to prove all mothers right.
I posed the good-looks-equals-lousy-partner theory to another friend, who disagreed vehemently.
‘Sometimes, ugly people are even more susceptible to straying because they’re not used to getting attention. So every time they get it, their heads swell and they’ll pursue it,’ he says.
Interesting thought.
I guess good looks is no barometer on whether a person will make a good or bad partner.
The real barometer is character.
Traits like honesty, trustworthiness and loyalty will keep a good-looking person decent, and make an average-looking person attractive.
That, more than anything, is the safest bet.
The pillow tales. 